Spring’s breeze gently stirs the stillness, carrying in her breath the cologne of freshly cut grass, barely grown to maturity, yet already cut down in youth. I lie here tranquil, my skin catching now and then the seeds of the disintegrating dandelions. In this moment I lie in the shadow of Eternity, a shadow I cannot grasp or touch and yet I am always in her cool darkness. I taste the unchanging Forever, yet Forever passes me by for I am composed of the here and now.
This, the tingling touch of the everlasting, juxtaposed with the components of which I am made: flesh passing to dust, breath passing to vapour, mountain passing to sand. I perceive the eternal sky above; yet, like the breeze that rinses through my hair, I will soon be gone, and she will watch, unmoved. My flesh, like the sheaves beneath, will be cut down in adolescence, and she will remain. Empires will rise and fall, and the wind comes and it goes; all the while, eternity taunts the hearts of men.
I pass through her sand timer, somehow imaging that there is something more on the outside of the glass jar, something more than the collapse of the days as they fall away. Yet all the while, I am all too wary that this is all slipping from me. We look up, out of that habitat, while the grains tumble down, taking with them youth, breath, life. There must be more, yet I am on the inside and she is on the outside, and I am powerless to escape the decay of time.
These moments ravage me. My fingers try to grasp at the wind, yet in futility, for flesh cannot hold breath. We are fickle creatures, are we not? We know this, that we cannot hold what we have, for we cannot hold on to vapour. Yet we play with eating and drinking and spending and sex and life and lust and romance like there will be no tomorrow to take it from us. We hope as if we are not on the tether. We look to the future like we do not know that there is an end to a length of string.
Is there hope, when every time I reach out all falls away?
Will you console me, Eternity? Or will you only tempt me, temptress? I am a caitiff living in a young man’s body, I am an old man wanting a coward’s ticket out.
Or could there be freedom in the madness? Can I embrace you, elusive Forever? Would you dwell with me, let me stay here in your shadow, until you take me from the sand timer? Would you teach me to tread lightly, knowing that it will all be taken, and that one day, you will make it right?
Would you teach me to love with all my heart, for love will be the only currency to survive your economy? Would you help me to give all I have, for all of it is only borrowed?
Would you give me contentment, when this breath ceases to fill my lungs?
And would you hold my hand as I face Death, knowing that when I pass his gate, that is when I will experience Life in her fullness?